I want to cut my hair. I want to change it. I’m feeling antsy.

Thinking back, I’ve had this hair cut for a long time. About 2 years ago, I cut off nearly a foot of my hair. My goal has been a bob, but, due to laziness and clerkship (it gets busy you guys), it ended up varying from chin length to lob. On the whole though, it has been pretty consistent.

Maybe two years isn’t that long for some people to have a single haircut, but before this, I was changing my hair close to once a year: a friend of mine who moved out of the country back around 2011 usually doesn’t recognize me when we first see each other, including the time I visited her and was the only white girl waiting for her in the arrivals area of her local airport. When she left before I started medical school, I had the Zooey Deschanel heavy bangs. That lasted until the end of first year when I got bored and dyed my hair a harsh ombre/dip dye (I was probably over compensating for the awkward bang grow out phase). By summer after second year, I managed to get it all one length and one colour. This lasted until an unfortunate dye job that left my hair purple two weeks before my wedding, followed by some quick and painful colour correction which essentially did my hair in. Since then, I’ve had a bob.

Bobs are fun, but they are pretty boring after a while. And I want a change SO badly. I miss braiding my hair and curling it without scorching my fingers every 10 seconds. At the same time, short hair is fun, and I also want to try to go shorter – pixie shorter. I feel like a faux-hawk could be a really fun way to take a stand against being unmatched: to say to residency programs “your loss”, “I’m great”, and “you made a mistake”. Plus, who doesn’t want to look like Ruby Rose?

But I can’t. Or won’t. CaRMS is pretty much just around the corner again, and that means I need headshots. I just got those last year, and I don’t want to have to re-take them! They weren’t cheap and money is certainly going to be tighter this year without the residency salary I was expecting. But that’s not the main reason… as much as I talk big and want to think I have this “screw-you” attitude, not matching beat me up pretty bad. I don’t know if I could pull off that confidence I had in those photos, with or without an awesome new pixie cut. So I’m going to use them again this round, and that means that, for now, my bob stays.

Three years with one hairstyle will be a really long time though. I might have to start looking into getting a hidden undercut. A mini Ruby Rose to hide under my ponytail.

Image credit: Kaleido DP

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